Reading and Sleeping

Why do I fall asleep so quickly nearly every time I go to read? Am I tired? Do I not get enough sleep? Or is there something else? Is there something in my brain, some mechanism, some trigger… a switch of some sort? And what is it that switches? Is it something that switches off? Or something that switches on? Or perhaps it’s more like a railroad switch – nothing that switches on or off but something switches direction.

Whatever it is, it’s frustrating. There is so much that I want to read – but I fall asleep so consistently. It gets to the point where I don’t even want to read. But then, I see all that there is to read, so much that I want to know that I try again to read… and fall asleep again.

Is there something I need to find? Is this a gift or a curse? Perhaps I should find some way to understand this as opportunity for something good in a way I’ve not conceived up to now. Perhaps there is something excellent in this that doesn’t fit into any definition of excellence that I currently use or have. Is there a meaning to this that I have yet to perceive? Is there a revelation of some sort in it? Is this “sleep” telling me something, something I’ve not been able to hear or see as of yet?